You might think that I’m excited about launching my next book, Where Memories Meet—Reclaiming my Father after Alzheimer’s, and you wouldn’t be wrong. But you wouldn’t be completely right. I’m feeling a lot of ambivalence.
As I get closer to finishing what my dad, and mom really, and I started more than seven years ago now, I realize I am crossing the finish line alone. They are both gone and will never see the book that Dad wanted me to write, and that Mom encouraged every step of the way.
Things like this propel the deep-seated, scarred over grief right up to the surface.
Gosh, I miss them.
So it makes me sad to finish this book, but I’m doing it anyway. Life is like that.
My daughter Anna, graphic designer extraordinaire, worked with me yesterday on the layout. She’s done a beautiful job with it. I can’t wait to see it in print. I hope to order a copy (with a temporary cover) today or tomorrow to proof. I remember the day I first received a print book of Dancing in Heaven in the mail in 2011. I video recorded it.
I’m probably not going to video record my self this time, but will be certain to have tissues at hand.
Next time, I’m writing a happy, whimsical, fictional book.